Best & Worst Present... all in one. – Raven Oak

Best & Worst Present… all in one.

Me & the Fake Cabbage Patch Doll

Me & the Fake Cabbage Patch Doll

Everyone’s doing those posts…talking about the holidays, best presents, worst gifts, the time when the crazy Aunt drank too much and tried to wrap the skunk outside because ‘little Mark needs a puppy!’ Well, maybe not that last one (I hope!), but I figure I’ll share since ’tis the season!

When I was six or seven, I really, really, really, REALLY wanted a Cabbage Patch doll. It was the ’80’s. Everyone wanted one. They were also $100 or some such crazy price and difficult as all heck to find. We were poor. Poor enough that I had zero chance of getting one. My paternal grandmother decided the best answer was to make me one. I was beyond thrilled when I saw it, until I noticed the distinctive missing signature on the doll’s butt. *sigh* I was young and selfish, and threw a right tantrum.

But I grew to love the doll over the course of Christmas day. This lasted until the next morning, when I promptly got sick all over the doll. Barf-o-rama of epic proportions over the now dubbed Vomit Patch Doll.

No matter how much that doll was washed, her hair continued to smell like puke. I loved my doll, but I couldn’t stand to hold her. Every time I did, the fresh smell of spaghetti-puke trickled into my nose, and the dry heaves would begin.

It was the best and worst Christmas present ever. (And I still can’t smell spaghetti without getting ill.)

What was yours?


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